Two years ago, my world changed forever when I lost my father. As a daddy's girl, the bond we shared was unshakeable, and his absence has left an indescribable void. I talked to him every single day, multiple times a day -- at times about something specific, and at others just to call and tell him what I had for lunch or what was happening at work. His love, wisdom, and presence were constants in my life, and when he passed unexpectedly, I found myself adrift in a sea of grief, becasue why are you not here? But this journey of loss has also become a journey of rediscovery—one that has required me to lean into my pain and embrace the strength I didn’t know I had.
Irecently moved to a new state after his passing, the weight of grief has been uniquely profound. Relocating wasn’t just about finding a new home—it was about a reset, trying to build a life in a place that didn’t have the comfort of my daddy's love, his advice, or the sense of security that came with knowing he was ALWAYS there. ALWAYS. As I was trying to start over, there was a deep ache in my heart, a constant reminder that I was doing it without the one person who had always been there for me. I kept smiling, making it look easy as I left my adult children, purchased a new home, started a new position, a new relationship and kept myself encouraged, by celebrating ME. Even at times when no one else would, which in itself is another form of grief.
I won’t lie and say this has been easy. Grief isn’t just an emotional experience—it’s physical, mental, and spiritual. It touches every part of you. Almost every day. There are days when I feel like I’m drowning in the weight of it all, even as I type, tears are flowing uncontrollably. As I navigate a new environment without the safety net of my dad's support, knowing even talking to him made me feel better about just about anything! But what I've come to realize is that grief, while painful, is also an opportunity for transformation. It’s through these moments of deep sorrow that I’ve begun to discover parts of myself I never knew existed. My New Normal.
Grief doesn’t come with a timeline, and it doesn’t follow any set rules. It ebbs and flows in unexpected ways. One moment, I’m overwhelmed with memories of his laughter, his guidance, and the lessons he imparted. The next, I’m faced with a reminder of how much I still miss him and the void he’s left. I see him laying there, I remember his motions, reaching out to us mouthing something as the time grew near. I talk about him often, at times like he is still here - but for me, that keeps his memory alive. But in that space, I've also learned that it’s okay to feel both the pain of loss and the possibility of joy, simultaneously. I've not mastered it, however I am doing my best.
Moving to a new state has been its own challenge. I’ve had to rebuild my support system, create new routines, and establish a sense of home—all while carrying the grief of my daddy's absence. But it’s also been a place for growth. I’ve learned how to stand taller, not in spite of my grief, but because of it. His teachings live on in me. His love continues to guide me as I navigate the ups and downs of life. His laughter brings me a grin. The ways he would show me he was proud without actually saying it.
To anyone out there who is walking through the pain of loss, especially those who’ve had to start over in a new place or in a new phase of life- whatever that looks like for you, know this: You are not alone. Grief is not something that defines you; it’s something that shapes you. It’s a process, not a destination. You may not feel like yourself right now, and that’s okay. Take it one day at a time. One second at a time. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself grace. Take the space you need, the very moment you need it.
In these moments of loss, we find resilience. We learn that our love for those we’ve lost is not bound by physical presence—it’s woven into the fabric of our being. And even in our grief, we are capable of greatness. Daddy may no longer be here physically, but his spirit, laugh, double blinks, his lessons, and his love live on in me, in my children, and in the way I choose to move forward every day.
Grief is not the end—it’s the beginning of a new chapter, one that will shape you into the person you are becoming.
If you’re struggling, remember that healing takes time. It’s not about erasing the pain, but about learning to live with it in a way that honors the love and legacy of those you’ve lost. You have the strength to keep going, even when it feels impossible. And one day, when the heaviness of grief has lifted just enough, you will find that you’ve grown in ways you never imagined.
Let’s honor our grief. Let’s carry it with courage and compassion. And let's keep moving forward, with love, faith, and hope in our hearts. This was for me, just as much as it was for you.
Until Next Time.....